Monday, March 18, 2013

Day 19 - My Mother & Being Thankful

Updates :)
  - Stitches are out
  - Tape is off
  - Started the gradual expander element of reconstruction
  - Learned what I can and should not do with my little self
  - Doctors both say I'm healing really well

Special Update :)
  - During last week's cancer conference at the hospital, a panel of doctors, including two radiologists, examined my case. One of the radiologists even went back to his office and did a literature review to make sure he was giving us the most up-to-date and accurate information.  So nice.  Even though the area was wide and touched the skin, studies show that the risk for reoccurrence doesn't change if radiation is done with DCIS.  They even checked a most recent study at Harvard which supported this finding.  So... :) big smiles and a grateful heart, I don't need to do radiation.  What a blessing.  I feel there have been so many blessings, and today, after hearing this news, once I was home, I just cried.  I feel I've been extremely blessed during this experience, so blessed.

My angel mother did leave last Thursday, thank you for everyone who has checked to see how I'm doing.  Throughout this entire experience, mom has reminded me to be thankful.  "Thank the Lord for every good thing.  Thank Him for every hard thing, everything that's difficult, for the pain, for all the growth."  She has encouraged me to be thankful for everything, no matter what it is.  She has found incredible peace and happiness doing this.  I feel so much awe for who she is and feel grateful for her example of humility and gratitude.  I will be grateful every day of my life that she is my mother, and that I am her daughter.  Through this experience, I have leaned on her so much.  I, the independent one, has had to admit my need of others :), especially of her and my Heavenly Father, and I thank Him that He gave me this experience, the opportunity to spend this time with her.  She is an angel of peace.

As things geared up for her leaving, I started feeling anxious.  I felt like I'd just had a child or something ;) and was so emotional, not wanting her to leave.  She encouraged me to thank the Lord for the difficult feelings I felt.  We looked at having her stay longer, but we both prayed about it and felt good about her departure date.  We have some sweet memories of that last night she was here as I read to her from "The Continuous Atonement" by Brad Wilcox, and she made soups, drinks and Sauer Kraut for me :), all the while following along almost better than me to the book!  She's amazing.  When she left, it did feel quiet, I missed her terribly, and yet I knew it was okay.  I slept for a good while and then let myself feel the peace the Lord gave me as I took care of things around the house.  Since she left, my aunt and many others have been so so helpful in giving rides and helping me if I've needed anything.  I've had wonderful, thoughtful visitors, and even a sweet experience with the Sacrament being brought to me.  Where I felt unable to go forward without my mother, the Lord has picked me up and carried me.  He amazes me.


Lena said...

thanks for sharing this. You are wonderful.

Maren B said...

Yay! I'm so glad for you that you are feeling the blessings of the Lord. I am excited for you to one day not have to feel all the difficulties that go along with this experience and instead just enjoy the growth/peace/blessings that it has brought or will bring.