It's about time I blog again...and about something other than my health ;) So here we are. Recently, I asked a guy out who had a great idea to blog about our experience and invited me to be a guest post on his blog, so here you are :) I hope you enjoy the read.
Charlotte asked if I wanted two tickets to KUTV’s pops concert and I couldn’t resist so I said, yes! “Who will you take?” she inquired. She is someone I work with and was really excited for me to experience this patriotic concert. After realizing my niece and nephews would be out of town, it hit me, bex, you should ask someone…like actually ask a guy. Hmmm…it’s not that doing so is so very foreign to me that I’ve never asked someone out…but usually I’m already dating them and well, what if I asked someone out and they thought that was weird or felt concerned that I felt stronger than I did since I’m a girl and was doing the asking?! What if, what if… Then I laughed at myself and said, what the heck, it’s about time, let’s do this.
It was the middle of the week and the concert was the following weekend, so I sent Petey a text to see what his plans were and if he would be free that evening. How do you ask that in a cool, chill way ;)? If he said yes, I knew it would be a great date. And…he was free, awesome!
We are both in choir together and at rehearsal that night, Petey was stellar, he came up to me with a hug and asked about the details of the date. I stuttered, realizing I hadn’t thought past the fact that I had tickets for us to attend the concert together. “Right, yes, of course,” I began, thinking fast…of course! I’d asked him on a date, why hadn’t I thought about dinner and the other details?? During choir, I collected myself and we chatted briefly afterwards. Phew. Not a total failure, but boy, there was more to this asking someone out than just having tickets in hand! ;)
The next week went by so quickly and before I knew it, we were just days before the date...had I figured out dinner and transportation, etc.? Not more than thinking about those details…it felt funny every time I did, I just wasn’t sure what he’d like to eat. I wanted to check with his friends about his food preferences and all the sudden found myself wondering about the implications if I chose this place or that one! Hilarious. Options, I need to give him options, I thought. And I should be the one picking him up, and should give him a time-frame to plan on.
And that is how the rest of the experience went…me going through a process any guy could do in his sleep but for which took me quite a bit of extra thought and seriously gave me greater appreciation for the many dates I’d enjoyed while often taking for granted the effort and planning my date had gone to for me, for the one evening, that singular experience. They must have stressed a little like I did…and needed reminders like “what is the dress code for this?” Details can escape you…it makes me wonder if there is a cool check list guys use to remember it all. And another thing, you want to make the other person’s experience great, doing things they enjoy while also taking the lead so they don’t have to essentially plan the date you’ve asked them on – haha. But boy, deferring to them sure seems easier.
Picking up Petey on the night of the concert was so easy. He was ready on time! How many times have I not been “quite ready” and needed extra time? He was the opposite of picky and that left me ultimately deciding where we would eat…and again, that is something for which I’ve so often deferred to the other person. Maybe I’ve been lazy, for the most part I like most food so it’s been easy to let the other person decide in case they have an opinion.
Third times the charm and that’s how it worked with choosing our restaurant due to the wait and our short timeframe…and that was kind of like an adventure for us. When it came down to the meal, it was so fun to say, “Have whatever you like” as we looked at the menus…I kind of giggled. That evening became a game to me to see if I could copy what I knew of my role from the great examples I’d experienced in the past. It really was a lot of fun, especially once I let go of wanting things to be perfect… And let’s be honest here, this was like being a novice who wanted to perform her part well without first practicing ;).
The concert was lively and so much fun. Petey was the best person to take on a date, and he seemed to enjoy the experience, sitting back, letting someone else drive the “date mobile”, while being his encouraging self. It really is a fun role ;). We laughed through the experience and he was super forgiving and flexible which made it so much easier to have a great time regardless of my nerves. Being with someone who cares about others more than himself and who values relationships with others quite highly inspires me to treat others similarly.
So, the conclusion is, being the asker was the right choice :). It may have started a little awkwardly, but became an awesome, fun experience. And yep, I’d do it again…and…I’ll be a better and more aware date in the future!
Thank you, Petey!