Thank You :)

Dear Family and Friends,

Thank you to each of you for your prayers, fasting and faith.  Today, I felt it all so tangibly; I felt unafraid, supported, loved, and I knew again that everything would be okay.  It was so refreshing to feel like me, my happy, free self.  At points when people at church asked me how I was doing, or wished me luck with this week, I found myself saying, thanks, it's going to be great!...like I was excited about it or something ;).  Funny, but I really felt so good.  Your love and support, your faith and prayers have literally strengthened me, and I truly feel more able to go forward.  The Lord is so so good to us, and that feels never more true to me than today.

Loves to each of you :)

Preparing

My angel mother, who has researched so much for me throughout this journey, found this extremely helpful blog.  Britta McKenna was also diagnosed with DCIS and shares her journey, things she experienced, felt, and sources of information she discovered.  The most helpful shares for me this week are her two pages on mastectomy preparation.  In case it is of interest to you and also so I have a place saver here on my blog :), I'm including them below.  Man, I'm so grateful for those who have been willing to share of their experience.  Reading her prep lists has really helped me.

* Top Ten Pre-Mastectomy
* Top Ten Post Mastectomy 

Diagnosis: DCIS

Really quick - my apologies for not explaining my little health situation for anyone who has read these few posts without having that information.  After doctor visits, exams, etc. during July and August last year, and after an MRI in August and a biopsy through MRI in September, I was diagnosed with a type of breast cancer called ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS).

Honestly, I'd be happy to explain more about that if people are interested...it just might take me some time to respond, but I will.  Whereas DCIS is usually in one or two, maybe a couple of ducts, mine seems to be wide-spread and there has been concern that there may be other stuff going on as well.  Who knows, but we'll find out soon.  Mine was thankfully found early, it's quite likely that it has not spread to the lymph nodes, and if removed it has an extremely high likelihood of being cured.  Hope that helps :)

Surgery Date

Dear ones -

So...I thought I'd be great at updating this lovely blog...but I have not done so...that's pretty much how blogging has gone for me for years, no?  ;)  Things I'm planning on including here include my morning routine, the healthy foods, supplements, and teas that have been making it into my body, as well as great books and other resources mom and I have drawn from to determine what I've been doing for the last many months, and my feelings and reflections throughout the experience.

Those will get on here at some point, but I do want to let you all know that after receiving results back from my MRI at Christmastime and seeing that things hadn't improved but were slightly progressing, and after a lot of prayer, fasting, time in the temple and time to myself, I decided to have the recommended surgery (mastectomy).  Single or double?  I'm going for single.  I'll lose these one at a time if I'm going to lose them both, but hopefully I won't :D.

Do I feel 100% confident in this choice?  No, but I feel there have been times of peace after a blessing, after a conversation with someone which have helped me feel that "whatever happens, it will be okay."  Maybe this means that just like many have said to me, with whatever I choose, things will be okay.  Doubt not, fear not.  Trusting and letting go of fear has been such a lesson my mother and the Lord have been teaching me...I'm still in the heart and depth of this lesson, but I can tell that it is a significant part of this journey for me. 

The surgery date will be February 28th.  My mother and Megan will be here, so I'll be in good hands.  There are other details, but I'll leave off for now.

Thank you all for your prayers, for your love, your faith and your goodness to me.  As mom continually reminds me, the Lord is helping me, He is there and He loves me as He loves all His children.  This is a great opportunity to learn and I hope the Lord will mercifully "grow me" as I move forward.  He is light.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

A moment of happy smiles and peace

Enjoy :)

Scheduled MRI - Christmas gift

Hello everyone :)  Here is a fun update - fun for me.  Hope it will make sense.

One of my goals during this fall was to be re-tested, comparing apples with apples, though another MRI.  This started to seem a bit impossible due to information I was given and which I possibly misunderstood.  The financial commitment felt too steep and as there were other tests that I learned of that were much less expensive, I thought maybe I would use those until an MRI re-test was approved for insurance coverage.

Thanks to a dear friend and work partner who pounded the pavement and eventually communicated with the CEO of St. Mark's hospital, an incredible reduction in billing cost was extended to me last week if I could be tested by the end of the year.  What a blessing!  After learning the news, Mom, Tim and I knelt down and offered up a prayer of gratitude.  The MRI is the most accurate of tests and this would help us see what direction we need to head moving forward.

Faith and trust have been major components of my learning curve.  That said, I also feel it would help me breathe easier knowing if what we have been doing so far has made an impact.  In the end, whatever types of healing that do occur will occur because of my Heavenly Father and his matchless power.  And I want to assist in making the best choices possible.

So, that wonderful news came last Friday, and then I later learned more good news, that my insurance company would most likely cover the MRI, something I'd been told several times was extremely unlikely.  And somehow, the scheduling to do so this week opened up and I was able to schedule my MRI for tomorrow afternoon at 4pm.  Even typing that feels a bit emotional.  May I ask for your prayers tomorrow?  Thank you.  It will be such a blessing to have this test, I truly feel so grateful.  Results will come a week or so after. 

Thank you to each of you beautiful ones for your prayers, for your messages, for your funnies, happy thoughts, and beautiful pictures.  You have lifted me.  You mean the world to me.

May each of you  have a most Merry Christmas.

Introducing "Health Updates" :)

For the next while, I will use my blog as a way of updating how things are going with my little health situation.  That way, if any of you would like to check it out, you may.  You can post comments, I'll respond to them here in case anyone else is also interested in the same thing, and it will be a one stop shop so that you don't get a lot of emails from me :) but can get information as you would like it.

More than anything on here though, I want you each to know I appreciate your support and I feel blessed with so much good in my life.  Yes, my emotions are awesome at going up and down, fluctuating sometimes like a roller-coaster ride, but overall, the Lord is carrying me, guiding me, watching me, allowing me to learn how to listen to Him and how to make decisions.  I've got a lot to learn, there seems to be a lot of emotions internally that want to be processed right now, and hopefully I will be humble and open enough to learn what is needed.  I believe I will.


I have decided to make being wisely optimistic as my motto throughout this experience.  And to lift up mine eyes to Him.